GUILT; HOW TO LIVE WITH IT?

WHAT

You are not alone in feeling guilt.
I feel it every day.
Dealing with guilt in a healthy way requires self-awareness, acknowledging our feelings, taking responsibility, making amends, and forgiving ourselves.
Journaling is a great way to apply these.

WHY

Guilt is not going anywhere, so at least we should find ways to suffer from it less, and leverage it more (the obstacle is they way!).

Guilt is a complex and universal emotion that arises when we believe we have done something wrong.
It can be debilitating and overwhelming, believe me, I know… every…day…
Every day I feel guilty about not being a good enough father, not being a good enough team leader at work, not being a good enough human being. I tend to find the smallest failures and missteps and focus on them like a Moth to a flame.

But guilt can also be a powerful motivator for change and growth.
It can be a signal - you body is telling you “bruh, pay attention! DO NOT do that again”.
It’s up to us to flip the coin, from the side of suffering to the side of growth.

Oh don’t get me wrong.
It will hurt.
You might feel like crying.
You might feel like your whole world and identity is crumbling.

But then you’ll have a choice.
Keep grinding that feeling of oblivion?
Or get a grip, and see the opportunity to learn?

HOW

Not drowning in guilt requires work, honesty, responsibility, writing, and forgiveness.

As with most pains (emotional or physical) we tend to resist them.
Which, low and behold, only aggravates the suffering.
Then, we must learn to accept the pain and ride the wave.

Resisting the guilt only perpetuates the negative emotions and thoughts associated with it.
That’s the way to drown in it, and stop functioning.
Accepting and working with guilt can help us learn from our mistakes and make amends.
This can help us grow, and bring us a sense of peace and closure.

Dealing with guilt in a healthy way requires self-awareness and a willingness to face and work through the emotions and thoughts associated with it. To do so, try the following:

• Acknowledge your feelings: Recognize and acknowledge the feelings of guilt that are present.

• Take responsibility: Take responsibility for your actions and the impact they may have had on others.

• Make amends: If possible, make amends for the harm you may have caused. This could involve apologizing, fixing the problem, or making reparations.

• Forgive yourself: Once you have taken responsibility and made amends, it's important to forgive yourself and move forward.

• Decide: You are going to learn from this, to lower the probability of repeating the same mistake in the future.

And the main tool I use to apply these, is… drum roll… journaling!
When guilt is at it’s peak, I like to withdraw from the world for a few minutes, and write down my thoughts, emotions, and lessons.
If the situation does not allow for an immediate withdrawal to journal, I make it a priority to journal later in the day.

TAKEAWAYS

• You are not alone - guilt is a universal emotion

• Accept, don’t resist - if you want to learn from your mistakes and make amends.

• Do the work - dealing with guilt in a healthy way requires self-awareness, acknowledging our feelings, taking responsibility, making amends, and forgiving ourselves. Journaling is a great way to apply these.

So next time guilt creeps in, remember to accept it, work around it, learn from it, and not resist or drown in it.