Like a flame that consumes anything you throw in it - you should learn to welcome whatever comes your way.
You should learn to love fate, “Amor Fati” (literaly… Amor = Love, Fati = Fate).

INTRO

Every time I have to start something new, I get scared.
Excited too.
But scared.
Did you notice they are kind of similar?
Fear and excitement I mean - they kind of feel similar to each other.

It usually goes like this for me:

1. Fear of failure.

2. Fear of the world "finding out" I'm a fake.

3. Fear of what will people say.

4. Fear of embarrassing myself.

And then...

1. Anger.

2. Anger that I still fear like that.

3. Anger that listening to my fear will hold from doing anything.

And then...
Slow down…
Don't drown in the initial emotional responses (note that the above “mess” takes mere seconds to run through my mind).
Then I start thinking more clearly.

Is this opportunity really something I want to pursue?
If yes, then just start working on it, however I can, despite the fear.

Even the smallest steps count.
Even just asking for help or someone’s opinion.
Even just communicating to someone that I am both excited and scared.

Just take any step forward, into the darkness, however tiny or “unimpactful”.
Engage with the fog of war, however I can.

Then I start making progress.
And then lapse.
And then fear comes back.
But it's easier to keep going, despite the fear, thanks to the momentum.

EXAMPLES

#1 Starting a Resilience blog

Starting this adaptive resilience blog was (is?) super scary.
I felt like I have something to say, something to contribute, some… strength… to share.
But do I really?
Will anyone benefit from what I have to say?
Will people laugh at my attempt?

I already launched and shared my blog publicly, yet these thoughts keep on creeping back.

I tell them - maybe.
Maybe no one can benefit from what I share.
Maybe people will ridicule, or ignore me.

So?

I’m doing this not for them.
I’m doing this for me.
And I’m doing this for the small chance that even 1 person will gain some strength from my words.

#2 PHYSICAL TRAINING

Keeping up with a physical training routine.
I used to train in a martial arts group, a lot.
I was a senior trainee.
Then covid, life changing events, and kids....
Raising 2 under 2, is… demanding…
So now I do my very best to keep the habit going.
I train solo, at home, sometimes at 23:00 sometimes at 4am (that’s 4am before going to sleep... not after...).

Some people will laugh, some will critique.
Some will not understand the challenges, and priorities, that come with kids.
Someone will have something to say.

But I am proud of myself for finding ANY opening to keep going.
For not giving up, and letting life drift me completely away from the path.
Like so many do.

Every day, every week - I find some way to keep the flame lit.
Sometimes it’s a full-blown training session.
Sometimes it’s 10 minutes of some movement.

TAKEAWAYS

Amor fati is a Latin phrase roughly translated to "love of fate" or "love of one's fate".
It encourages one to see everything that happens, including suffering and loss, as good or, at the very least, necessary.
It is talked about in Stoicism (another big one from the Stoics is The Obstacle Is The Way)