Thoughts, to your experience, are like waves to the ocean.
You are not the waves, you are the ocean.
So worry less about your own thoughts... and don't take them too seriously all the time.

INTRO

When the great American theoretical physicist, Richard Feynman, was asked to think of a single sentence that would convey the most valuable scientific information we possess, he replied something like: "All things are made of atoms".

In an audio clip from the "Waking Up" app, Sam Harris (neuroscientist, author, philosopher) claims that for human experience and consciousness, the answer to an analogous question is "I am not my next thought".

I think, what Sam is trying to say is:
thoughts, this voice that sometimes casts doubt, fear, despair, and pain - are just another part of our system.
Yes, well, duh... but, bare with me.

To me - the meaning of this statement is that, we should try to break free from the habit of identifying with this voice. Because we (I certainly do) have the tendency to regard this voice (our thoughts, in case you lost me) as our core, our very being, our self.

Even though, it's really not.
Even though, it costs us amplification of stress and anxiety.
Even though, we are more than the data stream produced in our language circuits.
Even though, these thoughts are not even our own, but echos of other people’s opinions.

FEEDBACK LOOP

Ever heard the fast increasing "scream" of a microphone which is too close to the speaker?
Or a guitar which is too close to the amp?

That's a positive feedback loop (positive is bad in our context, like being COVID positive)

One of the things that might happen when we identify with our thoughts too much, is a positive feedback loop from hell:

1. We are angry (maybe justifiably)

2. We think about us being angry, and we get angry at being angry

3. We think "oh man how can get angry at being angry?" and we get angry at this double-anger

4. .... keep going...

How do you stop the positive feedback loop?
Turn off the speaker?
Mmm, we can't really turn our thoughts off.

Put more distance between the microphone and the speaker?
Yes!

Leaving the speaker analogy - we can try putting some distance between us (whatever we are…) and our thoughts about anger. This can break the feedback loop, and prevent the descent to further emotional distress.

TAKEAWAYS

Maybe you have the right to be angry.
Maybe you don't have a choice but to be angry.
Maybe, though, amplifying the anger with the feedback loop is something worth avoiding.

If you catch yourself getting into the distress feedback loop, try to:

1. Tell yourself (think!): my thoughts now are just thoughts, amplifying the situation.

2. Then try to relax their hold, maybe the thoughts will remain in the background (like the TV I am still hearing across from the other room), that's ok!

And if you are not sure you will remember doing this when needed, try to drill it:

1. Initiate a stressful situation (cold shower, talking about a sensitive subject, doing something scary)

2. Before the stress begins, try the above and breath slowly.

3. During the activity, if you feel things going out of control, try again to put some distance between you and you thoughts